Pet rocks

So a mechanic friend of mine once told me that there are 2 types of bike owners. I got into a discussion about this with a couple of guys from Anapolis over lunch at a corner store a few days ago.

The first are "dog" bike owners. These are the people who ride their bikes into the ground. They will not bring their bike into the shop for a tune-up until the handlebars have been zip tied back on at least three times. Their bikes are covered in mud and make odd creaking sounds sometimes. The brakes mostly work. They love to ride, but don't have the patience or finesse to keep everything rolling smoothly. If the wheels turn, that's what matters.

Then there are the "cat" bike owners. These types are very in tune with their machines. They know every nuanced sound change and notice slight shifts in performance. They regularly tune things up, cleaning and lubing the chain after a ride in the rain, checking the bolts and cables before each big ride. They love their bikes as much as the "dog" owners but are borderline OCD.

On my trip, I have also run into a 3rd category: "fish" bike owners. These are people who ride a bike a few times a year or less. They don't know why the bike would be creaky after sitting in their parents' damp shed for 8 years. They bring it into the shop when they get a flat tire, perplexed by the whole idea of changing a tire themselves. (These are the same people who come back to the pet store with the belly-up goldfish they'd gotten their 4-year-old a week before but forgot to feed. The fish, not the 4-year-old... I hope.)

I am not an elitist. Hardly. While I like to think of myself in the "cat" group, I am some hybrid of all of these, to a degree. Heck, up until a few months ago, I would have been in a 4th category: "pet rock" bike owner.

Which one are you?